|Some of the mountains near our prospective home|
Someone mentioned to me the other day something about not being afraid of change in relationships. It was an odd comment at the time because there are so many things that are changing in my life right now. Some have to do with the prospect of moving to a new house, some have to do with decisions my husband has made, and others have to do with me internally. So, for someone who doesn't do change very well, I sure am pushing for and experiencing a lot of it and for once, I find it refreshing. You see, we all get stuck in life and we can either stay stuck or get out of it. Or, we can see something when it is coming and try to handle it with grace and peace. I've sought some of the changes occurring in life, others I noticed were coming with no direct action on my part. Both have revealed different things to me. The ones I've sought, like finding a house to purchase to make our own and becoming a more positive person, have shown me how to make rational decisions that can benefit anyone involved. The changes that I've noticed coming without direct action on my part have shown me how act and respond to difficult situations and negative people.
The biggest lessons I've learned is how to see the change coming and how best to respond. I don't remember ever seeing it coming before, but instead, just being hit by it and finding it overwhelming. This time, I noticed where two paths were moving side-by-side and then a gradual turning away. This change wasn't a hurdle, it was acceptance of how life moves. I journaled about my observations and worked through my emotions. I prayed for everyone involved in this season of life change, and I continued on the path I saw before me. When the two paths would meet again, I would try to be the same person. I tried to be positive and supportive, but the paths were too different for anything to be the same.
|Books I bought a couple of weekends ago|
I don't begrudge the change of paths, I support the changes that need to occur in order for all involved to find peace and light. But I am hurt. Letting go hurts. Having to purge things that we want to hold on to hurts. Having the very thing you stand for, the love and support that has become part of your character, torn down hurts. This is part of the internal change that I have been seeking, but I didn't realize that seeking for positivity and light would cause this. I took it for granted that those I'm around would be there with me. Am I so vain as to think I would be followed? No, but I did think that perhaps it would be contagious. Instead the opposite happened. I wrote on this a bit in my last post, about things done with a good intention being misunderstood and misconstrued as something else. Change does this, blindsiding us a bit, but it is also good for us. Change can teach us if we allow it to. If we choose to not allow ourselves to get stuck in the first place, change can be our ally. We can acknowledge our hurt and the pain that is caused by it, and we can heal. We can move forward and focus on the light ahead. Let's walk with our eyes open and our hearts healed through the changes that life throws at us. Let's handle them with grace and a peace in our hearts.
Light and Love,